October 1 is coming
October 1st is coming upon us. This year is a big day for my children, a marathon fundraiser for their school. Three years ago it was one of the biggest and saddest days for me. My beloved father, Francis J. Died.
I remember doing laundry and the phone ringing. It was Mom and I knew I would call her back in a few minutes. Little did I know. My phone rang again, Mom and Dad’s number. I answered. My sister, Laura was on the phone and told me Dad died. I cried and hugged Moira and told her that Grand pa died, honey.
I saw my neighbor out my door and I stepped out, crying. I told her and she dropped her bag and ran to me and gave a me a hug. She sat with my girls as I walked numbly to Mom and Dad’s house. It was all surreal. I miss Dad every single day.
My kids talk about him. Even Lorelei, who was only three at the time, talks about missing him.
We used to walk the neighborhood and would always stop to visit. Dad would joke with them. He would give them hugs and tease them. I remember when Lorelei was a baby he told me, hand over my granddaughter. And he held her and snuggled her. Aislinn was so young at the time when he died. She was only 5 months old. He would hold her and she would touch his face. My only regret is I have no pictures of her with him.
Lorelei’s repeated the phrase “Granpda died with honey”. It perplexed us until we realized that she heard me say “Grandpa died, honey” to Moira. Her three year old brain deciphered that as Grandpa died with honey.
Her other way in processing is that we needed to change Grandpa’s batteries and would not be dead. She will still bring it up and how much she misses him.
So, three years later, and the loss is still so real. Such an empty space. I miss his advice, his Irish pride, his smile, his gleeful laugh while clapping his hands at something he finds incredibly amusing.
FJ was tough. He spoke his mind. He was strong in his convictions.
October 1, 2008 – a day to never forget, a man to always remember.
As I was Saying...Or circular thinking :) 